Rupture. Repair. Repeat.
The theme of rupture and repair has been very present lately. Rupture is when something gets disturbed, broken, misaligned. Repair is the way we restore, make it better, heal, resolve.
This is essentially what strength building exercise is - we create small tears, ruptures, in the muscle fiber, and these tears are healed, repaired. When the microscopic tears are re-built the muscle tissue is denser, stronger. The official name for this is hypertrophy. This is why we feel sore after a big workout or after using a previously unavailable set of muscles. After exercise we usually feel that soreness is proof that we worked hard! Often resting the muscle group is the way we repair. Then we repeat it all over again (think “leg day”). This is how we get strong, or stay strong. Rupture. Repair. Repeat.
This process happens to us in the body, in the mind and in the heart. Because all of these are inextricably linked.
Recently I got to experience one of the healthiest “repairs” of the heart. It was in the context of a meditation retreat. A thing happened, and it really bothered me, and I took some time and eventually shared it with the person who triggered the rupture. We got to be in a really safe container with skilled outside eyes, and we both got to see that we had contributed to the harm, and that neither of us knew we were hurting the other. The ways we had harmed one another had a lot to do with our own inside stories, and very little to do with the actual events that took place. We had caused harm from previous patterns and habits. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. You know?
It was tender and painful to be in new territory, like a hard physical workout. I needed the help of an outside eye to help me stay with it and react in new ways. And when it was over, I was a different person - stronger, maybe. And the relationship I had with the other was restored. Rupture. Repair. This kinda reminds me of a Pilates class. Is that too out there?!
We are living through very unpredictable and painful times where many systems are collapsing and much is broken, where so many ruptures are happening. The only way I know to attempt to fix these cracks is with maitri, (friendliness, warmth, loving kindness). Like the Japanese ceramics Kintsugi, which pours gold into cracks to make broken vessels stronger, we can pour the loving kindness of maitri into our hearts to help heal and strengthen the ruptures with repair. We do this with kind words, kind looks and kind thoughts. We do this like we work in Pilates — one breath and movement and moment at a time.
Wishing you all of the tools and support you need as you go through your next journey of rupture, repair, repeat.